Little Willow Lost
by SaffronAngel
Summary: Willow's depressed when Oz won't talk to her. Rated for suicide attempt. Complete!!


DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine no matter how much I may want them. Spike especially. All hail the almighty Joss Whedon.  
  
A/N: This story would have taken place right after 'Lover's Walk'. Willow is depressed because Oz won't talk to her and decides that she doesn't want to live without him. Can Oz save her before it's too late?  
  
  
Willow had been wandering around school for a week after the 'Factory Incident' as she called it. Oz hadn't spoken to her since that night. She didn't seem to be herself and Buffy was getting worried. She hadn't been to the computer classroom except to teach and she wasn't at the library after school or during her free time.  
  
Angel had taken to looking out for her when she started wandering at night. It was like she was looking for death. She never carried even a cross. She seemed to want a vamp to kill her.  
  
The first night, Angel got lucky. He had been out after a patrol with Buffy when he saw her. A fledgling had grabbed her and was about to feed when he dusted it. She fell to the ground. He pulled her to her feet and when he let go of her she just started walking not even looking where she was going.  
  
Two weeks after the incident, Willow didn't show up at school. That night, Buffy went over to her house and found that Willow's folks were out of town. She saw blood all over the bathroom when she walked past. She poked her head in. Willow wasn't in there but there was a broken glass laying in the sink.  
  
She walked into Willow's room. There was a note on the bed. She picked it up  
  
"Dear Mom, Dad and Friends,  
I have betrayed the man I love more than my own life.  
I can't stand the person I have become in the past two weeks.  
If I am not worthy of Oz, then I'm not worthy of life. I can't  
and won't live without him. I love him too much.  
Please forgive me.  
  
Oz, I love you and wish I could change things.  
I need you in my life. If I can't have you, then I won't  
go on living.. Please forgive me for being a coward.  
Please don't blame Xander. This isn't his fault.  
  
Willow."  
  
"Oh God!" Buffy ran out the door and into the night.  
  
  
Arriving at the library, Buffy ran into Angel who had been letting everyone else know what had happened to Willow. She looked up at him. "Willow!" she whispered.  
  
"I know, love. I found her early this morning and took her to the hospital."  
  
"Is she . . .?"  
  
"No. She'll be ok." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I found her in time."  
  
"She left a note. I brought it with me." She handed it to Angel who read it quickly. Then, he handed the note to Oz who went white as he read it.  
  
"I have to go to the hospital. I have to talk to her."  
  
Buffy nodded and everybody went together to support their fragile friend.  
  
  
"Let me be alone with her for a while." Oz's eyes were pleading with everyone else in the lobby. They all nodded, seeing what this whole thing was doing to him and Willow.  
  
Oz walked into Willow's hospital room and wanted to cry. The young lady was unconcious amongst all the monitors and wires. The doctor had told them that it seemed that she had lost her will to live.  
  
"Willow? Willow, please. I -- I don't want you to die. I didn't want you to go away forever. Just long enough to give me a little time to straighten things out in my head. Please, Will. Don't leave me. I forgive you. I forgive Xander. If you die -- If you die, I'll be the one that needs forgiveness. Come back, Will. Please."  
  
He didn't leave her side for the next four hours. He was constantly pleading with her to wake up. He wanted his Willow back.  
  
  
Four hours after Oz had first sat down by Willow's bed, the redhead's beautiful green eyes fluttered open to see Oz in the chair next to her. She reached out for him and spoke his name in a soft whisper.  
  
He looked up and into her eyes and promptly started to cry. "Will, I'm sorry. So sorry. Don't do this to me. I need you." He moved over to the bed and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Don't let go of me!" Willow sobbed. She wrapped the arm she could move comfortably around him and held him tight. "I'm sorry, Oz! I'm such a coward. I shouldn't have kissed Xander and all but . . ." She quieted down when he placed a finger against her lips.  
  
"You were facing a possible death scenario. It was a high emotion situation. That I understand. But Will, the note. The glass. What if Angel hadn't decided to check on you?" She saw the tears in his eyes. "I would have lost you and then I wouldn't have been able to tell you about how I had been trying to find out who you were since early in your junior year."  
  
She pulled back. "How early?"  
  
"Remember the dance for the exchange students? You were dressed as an Eskimo. You were the most beautiful Eskimo I'd ever seen. I kept trying to approach you but you kept disappearing on me. I also saw you in that wild outfit on Halloween that year. Wow! The fact that you forgave me for trying to bite you when we first found out about me being all wolfie and all was the deciding factor. I had to be with you."  
  
"You liked me then?"  
  
"I didn't know you. But something about you drew me in and I couldn't escape. I needed you. And when I found out about Angel and all of that, I didn't mind the insanity that you thought would drive me off. It made life much more interesting."  
  
"What about me with Xander in the factory?"  
  
"It would have been harder to forgive you if we had found you naked in his arms. But you were just kissing him and you two have been friends since forever." Oz pulled Willow back into his arms. "I love you." He pulled back from her. "So I'd still, if you'd still."  
  
She smiled. "I'd still. I'd very still."  
  
He pulled her back in close and just held her. They didn't say another word until the doctor came in to release her to go home. They were back together as a couple. Life was as it should be.  
  
  
And from the shadows, Whistler looked on as the Powers That Be smiled on the couple. "All is as it once was and should always be." 


End file.
